I just read a status on Facebook where someone claims he manhandled and shoved a kid (approx age 9-11) who is playing on the train in front of his parents. Needless to say there's a group of people arguing in the comments section right now.
One group's stand is that they are unhappy that the kid's parents are not doing their job by allowing their kid to play on the train and they thinks that manhandling the kid and shoving him is a right.
The other group does not agree with manhandling other people's kids.
Well here's my stand.
Usually when I witness really unruly behaviour I would comment/advise loudy so the parents will feel embarrassed and do something about it. If the parents do not do anything or the parents are not with the kids, usually the kid will feel embarrassed with people staring at him/her and realise that the behaviour is not right.
Personally do not think that physically handling the kid will teach the kid that the behaviour is wrong but rather the kid will have a mindset that it's alright to cause pain to other people as long as you are unhappy with him/her.
To punish a kid without the kid understanding why he/she is being punished will cause another set of issue altogether. I'm all for a talk/highlight first approach, than suddenly without warning shoving a kid.. The trauma caused is not going to be small. You may say by 9-11 years old the kid should know the way to behave and if they don't the parents have failed (how about a 40 year old who can't behave himself? his parents have failed?)
Kids have lots of energy sometimes the parents take a 1 min break from the craziness before screaming at their kid to sit down.
Some special need kids are unable to follow instructions, unable to keep still, so are the patents supposed to tie them up and stuff cloth into their mouth?
Parents definitely need to take action when there is others have voiced displeasure but if you only spent 10-20 seconds and decide that the parents are not doing their job I think it's a little hash on the parents too. Maybe they are busy with another kid / kids, or trying to handle bags of groecries/shopping and the damn pram, on the phone, trying to find out if they are on the right train, etc.. (well if they really do not care about the kid and even after lots of stares they still make no effort to handle the kid, maybe a better situation would be to personally talk to the parents? Like would appreciate that you control your kid before someone else gets hurt or before someone elses tames your kid for you. (if they ignore you.. well I wouldn't stop you from manhandling the parents! :P)
If the same situation but it's a huge grown man that is much bigger sized than yourself who is doing this will you still attempt to throw the man? Maybe you really would throw the grown man than talk to him first but to manhandle and shove a kid without warning is like throwing a defendless cat who just decide to climb unto your dinning table while you are enjoying your meal. I know my example don't make much sense but that's the best example I can come up with at 12+am. lol.
Each has their own view but I do hope no one will ever touch my kid without any warning. If you do, I will do it to you without warning. If anyone ever thinks I've not done a good job feel free to tell me and if my kid has disturb you I would apologise and get her to apologise because I believe we are all learning new things everyday and what I think it's alright might be totally unacceptable to others and we got to learn to respect that.
Respectfully,
UFH
PS: my ping.sg friend Michael say I cannot be called UFC anymore have to change to UFH already!
