Mixture of feelings.
This is a very long entry and I
3rd November, went for this event and completed the 10km run.
Managed to finish the race in 1hr 35mins (nett timing).
I was with the 7.30am flagoff.
Knowing that there will be hydration/drink stations I didn't bring along a water bottle, but what I didn't know was that I would missed a station because it looks like it was for the other route. Started feeling very thirsty and weak, ankle hurts badly coupled with the fact that I didn't know how far away I am to the next station, I almost want to give up.. When I manage to reach the next station I drank 3 cups of water..
Thirsty, tired and my legs didn't really want to move. Every step I take was in pain (the ankle and toes), alternate between walk/jog/run. I just want to get to the finishing point and see my baby girl.
There was a point, I suddenly remember hubby had a friend who collapse in a run many years back (about 6years ago?). What if I couldn't make it to the end? Will my husband and baby knows the kisses I gave them right before the run was my last?
Then I saw a "medic" / "healthcare?nurse?" person by the road.. went there to get some spray for my ankle. The spray lasted for like a couple of mins then the ankles start to hurt again.. I have never experienced so much pain on my ankle during a run before and it scares me. I have done many runs in the past years and the pain is usually just muscle aches after the run.
Just barely a few hours after the race, I came across a heart breaking news on facebook.
An ex-classmate of mine collapse during the final 250m of the same race.
I didn't want to believe it. The same day, same race, same road.
Her last post on facebook was a post on instagram. She was wondering if it would rain during the race.
Then details of her wake surfaces. My heart just felt like there's something holding on to it. It's really tight and heavy. I wished it's just a nightmare that will end soon and all that I read is not real..
I am not close to the ex classmate but she has shown me care and concern while we were classmates. She is one of the nicer girls around. Everytime someone comment on her facebook I just become emotional and cannot stop the tears.
The next day, took a cab to the wake venue. It was raining heavily.
A short ride became a torturous long hour ride due to bad traffic. I was shaking in the cab.
At the wake's venue, I saw my friends. Then I saw her photo in front of the coffin.
I broke down and cried. Couldn't stop my tears. It's like seeing her photo and coffin suddenly hits me that she is really gone. I didn't understand why I would feel so sad, the only explanation was that she is so young and it's always more sad to see someone so young pass away. :'(
Rest in Peace Kai Lin.
Next year I will run the race and I will run it with you in my heart.